these are the one you played for me over and over:
Friday, June 26, 2009
Jordyn is her Name!
Okay James, All those times you were in my dreams and giving me hints of a little boy, You were wrong I’m having a little girl. You will never believe this. But one night Carlos and I were thinking of names, this was way before we found out the sex of the baby. He was like if it’s a girl lets name her “
I saw Jordyn last week on your Birthday. Jen & Her had a wonderful gathering upstate to honor you. It was wonderful, of course the food was GOOD. We had fun! It was raining like crazy but that didn’t stop me from going. Jordyn is Beautiful James. I'm just waiting for that dream when you say to me “My daughter looks better than yours” or “Punk Bitch why you trying to be like me, There’s only one Jordyn” LMAO!!! I just could imagine the crazy things that would have came out your mouth.
I saw the twins, zaida , jack and veronica, Rayn (The Beatles you use to call him), your mom, etc. so special! A wonderful moment. I must say that you build us to become close and never to forget one another. You really glue us all together. That’s Amazing! You love runs Deep!
***Manta***
James & Michael
Oh man! I know that you are crying your heart out James. But I couldn't help but to laugh last night because I remember you called me out of the blue and was like “ Yo son, guess what.? Michael Jackson ----” I was like what are you serious, stop playing. Then you starting laughing and said “ SIKE, you are a burger, you believed me” You really was laughing so hard that I couldn’t do nothing but laugh. I mean it’s not a funny matter at the moment, but for those you really know you knows laugher was a way to ease the pain of anything that was going on. James you Joke about everything. lol
Your love for Michael Jackson was so strong. I remember you had me watching all his videos one night and every time you saw that I was falling a sleep you will be like “Fuck that we watching it again because you didn’t see that part your eyes were close” In the middle of watching the video out of no where you started crying, I was like “WHAT THE HECK” You responded “ I don’t know why that happen to his skin he was so cute when he was brown. You argued with me that Michael had some type of skin problem. I didn't say anything more you were so emotional and serious. You really was crying. Your love for MJ was serious.
I wonder how you are going to greet Michael Jackson when you met him. Are you going to write him love poems? are you going to tell him that you are the biggest fan? Maybe Ya’ll will make music together. Michael is in for a nice treat when ya’ll met and greet. Just don’t put him to sleep with the long stories. I know that you are going to tell him about the Red Sox over and over again. You are up there with all your peoples, Biggie, Tu-Pac, MJ, Luther, Sam Cooke, Bob Marley etc. You are around the music greatest, I wonder what it is like for you? of Course peaceful, Hmm I just wonder....
***Manta***
................
Thank you for torturing me for hours upon hours of Michael Jackson!!
Through you I knew him better and saw inside both your worlds!
Thank you.
The sky filled with stars....
Love you James.
Kamela
Thursday, June 25, 2009
it's true, he's gone.
i wonder if you will be waiting for him.
if you will see michael jackson
on the other side.
how many nights you played the jackson 5 live for me,
the one where they recorded at home,
where they used household pots, pans utensils
and we would sit silent, listening to it over and over,
amazed at how talented this young man was.
i see your face, james.
i see you in shock.
im waiting for your call that won't ever come.
my heart is in my stomach.
i miss you.
--
Zaida
blog | twitter
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Happy birthday
Happy Birthday Big head :-)
I know its two days later but I didn't forget, just didn't have the time to come on here.
I didn't make it to the party Jen and Jordan had to remember you.
I so wanted to be there and I had every intention of being there to celebrate with your family and friends
but in the end I didn't make it. It so weird That morning I had a dream about you, as usual you being you lol,
I have to say it was a funny dream, the things that come out of that mouth of yours make me wonder sometimes
even in my dreams, it's like you are still here.
It so weird I went to take an exam and the school I went to take this exam in is called James Madison,
the room number I sat in was 420 and that dream I had when I work up it was 6:20am.
Miss you buddy
love you always
Erin
Friday, June 12, 2009
A year...
Dude, I don't know what is going on with all the dreams!!
Why do I keep dreaming of you?
It doesn't make me happy. They make me feel worse
and I can't take the constant pain.
Maybe if I kept much more busy, the way you
did, I'd be to tired to dream. Or too busy to think.
Or if I was filled with other thoughts and ideas to think
of you being missing. I know I use words like,
"gone" "missing" "not here". I haven't used the adult
real words out loud for what happened. Can't accept it.
When you do cross my mind, I think yeah, he's on vaca
in Cali or Florida or London or some other place.
I also dreamt of Jordyn this morning, of when she was
about three and she came to my house and fell in love with
my stepper machine. And she spent the entire day stepping.
Then we colored. I still have those coloring pages. I found them
a couple of weeks ago. It's sweet.
I guess there is so much on my mind, so much left to talk about
so much history and a year of you not here won't make things ok.
A year won't ease the pain. A year won't make the heart ache go away.
A year just won't do it.
OXOXO,
Kamela
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Miss you...
I woke up with that same ache in my heart.
Time does not heal heartache.
It does not diminish the pain or soak up the tears.
The dreams are always real and the pain that follows
chokes me.
I dreamt of you last night and it was the same.
You were gone and yet you were not and I wanted
you back here in the present.
I couldn't sleep last night. Woke up with pains in
my heart. It just not fair.
I miss you.
Kamela
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
You Are Invited - Remembering James
If you are reading this post, then you probably love James as much as we do. His sister, Jenny, and her family will be having a party to Remember James on June 20th at 2pm at her home. Jenny has asked me to post the evite here because she does not have everyones emails or phone numbers. She asked that this be forwarded so that everyone who knew and loved James get this invitation.
Please RSVP to the evite if you are able to make it, and please pass it along to anyone would like to join the festivities as we celebrate the life of our Dearest James.
All of the contact info for the party are on the evite. Please forward this invite on.
We hope to see you there.
Love,
Zaida, Daniel, Ryan and our new twins - Gabriel & Stella
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