Dreams...

My Dear Friend,

There is so much that I miss you for.
I miss my friend, my dear, dear, dear
friend. There are days that I wondered
how did I get by with you gone.  I had a
dream the other night.  I dreamed that I had died
and you were still here.  That I tried calling you on
the phone.  It rang. You picked it up. But there was
no answer.  You knew it was me.  And I was watching
you, as you answered the phone and you felt sad b/c you
knew it was me and you couldn't speak to me. It the way I
(we) feel now.  But you went on with you day like you always do.
But you paused and thought of me.  And that made me feel so good.
So right now I willingly pause and remember you, instead of thoughts and
memories catching me off guard.  I pause and remember you.  The sweet,
good, funny, hopeful you.  The you that in these last years went for your dreams
and gave it a chance, no matter the outcome.  You did it. I pause and think
of the smiles you gave and created and the lives you have changed for all of our
lives.  I pause and think of the moments this past week when your thoughts came
through my brother and sister's mouth and we looked at each other thinking,
"That was sooooo James!!!" and laughter followed...
I love when I dream of you because these dreams are so
rich and seem so real and for few moments caught between waking and
sleepiness and those always feel so real.

I miss you, my dear friend.  At times the pain loneliness of you in particular
not being here is palpable.  You will always indefinitely been where you have
always been, in my heart...

  Love,
~Kamela