(sharing your stories, one post at a time.)

Monday, August 18, 2008

My Dearest James...

Usually when I write it makes me feel better.
It releases tension and allow my thoughts to
flow uninterrupted and free.
I thought blogging
here would help and allow the thoughts you
being gone to sink in and sit well with me or
just have me accept it, deal with the grief.
But this isn't helping. 
Nothing works.  It just hurts like hell.
God, I need to be numb for a while
and just not feel anything
It's like I'm up, I'm down,
I'm still, I'm all over the place.
I can't sit still.
The one thing that I do feel when I write here,
I feel closer to you.  But it's not the same...
of course how could it be????
How could it be this way????

LFAND
~Kamela

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