Still not Ready

 

Hi James! I heard from Katia today and she said she heard from you while she was in Cuba. ( Meaning she dreamt about you) You told her that you were good. I was a little annoyed because you haven’t visited me yet. But than again I’ve been so stressed these past weeks, that I prayed three nights in a row and asked that you don’t come visit because I’m so stressed and I’m not ready. James I’m not ready to let you go seriously. I don’t want to face the fact that you really aren’t coming back. I mean I know you aren’t, but on the other hand I block it out. I don’t think about it. But I think about you daily. I’m hurting so bad I don’t even feel it. Don’t think I’m avoiding you and I don’t want to speak with you. I’m just not ready, I’m scared to be honest. This is hard for me.  I’m still not ready!

 

I’m sorry!

 

Love You Always James

Samantha (manta)