96 visitors and counting.

i started this diary to you, james, on saturday, at 11pm. since then, just four short days later, 96 people have come to this website in search of you via google and the rest of them.

amazing.

thanks to jennifer and kamela for emailing your stories. it takes courage to post and blog and share, but like i wrote kamela offline - james felt everything to the nth degree (and this wasn't always good, especially if boston was losing!!)

and so, it's okay if we allow ourselves right now, during this time of mourning, to do the same, even if it's out of our norm.

if you are thinking about posting, but not sure where to begin, just pretend you were on the phone with him, or telling him the story, exactly the way you would have done if he's still alive.

that's how i do it.

some people called him white boy, some people called him crazy james.

there was a reason for that.

and i know i sound crazy when im posting but im okay with that. because i was totally crazy when i was with him. we fed off each other, and got more outrageous each time we were together.

so feel free to write in using the email at the top right, or leave a comment, or just keep coming back. it's all good. we will know you were here by the visitor log.

time will help us heal.

"we have no choice," as he told me many, many times.

xx zaida xx