i just called to say i love you

i was on the train to ct the sunday before last. daniel keeps forcing me out of the house against my will. you know, because staying in bed everyday is not mentally healthy. we were at your fams house for the bbq the day before, and i really tried my best to keep those kids occupied. they need a break from the sadness too, you know? the water balloons were a success, and i cant believe i tricked your nephews into a clean up game. so cute! you would have been proud.

anyway, daniel left at the crack of dawn sunday to go fishing and i was too tired to get up that early, so i hopped on the train late morning to meet him in norwalk. and as i sat there i remembered those thousands of times you sat on the train going up to see michael and emmy, and you would call me during the train ride. sometimes i would answer and you wouldnt say hi, instead you would sing

"i just called to say i love you."

i held the phone tightly thinking i should be calling you right now, while i was on my train ride. i should be bugging you to keep me company because that ride was so goddamn boring.

instead i cried the entire hour it took to get there. the woman across from me must have thought i was insane. lately im feeling that way.

i love you james. i wish i told you more often.

xx zaida xx