James it hasn’t hit me yet that you aren’t here. This is crazy because everyone is all emotional, weak, sadden and I’m here lost, confused mainly shocked. I have no idea when I’m going to snap out of it. I know one day it will hit me. It feels like you are on vacation in Ireland somewhere for a few weeks. I don’t want to let you go, I don’t want to realize that you aren’t here. I haven’t cried much, I’m just stuck on stupid. Everyone is telling me that I’m stronger than what I think. I don’t look at it that way. I feel that I have accepted the fact that you are gone, but at the same time it still feels like you are here. I think about you everyday and the words I repeat to myself is that “God needs James more than us here on earth.”
What do I do? It hasn’t hit me yet.
Honestly, I’m really confused.
xoxoxoxo Manta
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